L u s t
by Meifoun
Summary: " I am nothing but a puppet, a puppet being manipulated in what society thinks what is good and what is bad. No matter what we do, we will be always controlled by them. We were born into this falsity and we will die because of it. "
1. Chapter 1

_LUST_

* * *

blankness filled the room, the creek of the empty seats behind me made me shudder. The cold winter wind breezed through the room, this scene―that I was staring in front of me―I was witnessing my decisions that had brought me here. The cuffs around my wrists were becoming sweaty, each drop of sweat made _every_ second last longer. It's as if I were never be able to escape this enclosed room.

I forgot who I was, _what_ am I? My life was token away from me. Was I meant to end up like this, was it something that I had done in my past life that had to make this one a nightmare? The room was hazy just as my mind was. My options were already chose because of my actions, my _pitiful, stupid_ actions. The answer that I had been waiting for, seemed like a death soon to come. I knew what was coming. I knew that as soon as that gavel hits, I'll be that home run ball, I was never going back.

I was out of the field.

The wooden stick banged on the counter as if it were the bat that had swung me out. I looked the judge in his eyes, I knew what he had in for me. I knew what he was thinking, adults are all just the same. The only difference they have from children is that they have money. Money is what controls adults to do what they do, their being controlled just as we are being controlled by them. Nobody has power. We are just puppets being displayed as humans with skin, we are nothing more than what we appear to be. But as soon as we do something that we are not told, disobeying the rules that had made this world, we are seen as the people who are "bad", But the people that disobey the rules, are we really "bad"? Are we really just what the society thinks we are, or are we just revealing the natures behind the human minds that have been sealed? I don't know. But I want to.

As he announced some of the requirements to be said before revealing the decisions, I could have felt the glares of the parents on the other side of the room. Looking at me as if I was a monster. I stared at them as many seconds passed without any emotion slightly on my face, they were in disbelief of how I was not ashamed. I didn't care anymore. I wasn't the one that was building up this rage inside of me ready to burst. In fury, one of the parents got up abruptly, slamming his hand onto the handle of the seat―marched towards me and slapped me in the face―Screaming wildly―as many words came streaming out of his mouth as he tears were. But then is carried away by one of the guards to the outside of the room, still glaring into my eyes.

I touched my cheek, it stunged immediately and I pulled my hand away from it as fast as possible. The judge cleared his voice and spoke loudly into the room, gathering everyones attention and announced his decision.

"Yukihara Sakura Mikan, You have been called **guilty** for- "

I couldn't even focused on what the judge was saying, my mind was blank. My eyes were gazing at the snow falling out the window. I realized that I could never enjoy seeing snow fall as it was now. Am I like snow? Did I get built just to fall? I bit my lip as I noticed one of the guards telling me to rise to exit the room. I knew that it would never work out―I knew that my life was just a twisted dream I would never wake up from. That is why as the two doors behind me slammed together in unison, I closed my eyes, hoping that if I fell a sleep and had dream, would this cold winter turn into a bright warm summer? An everlasting summer to run away from this cruel reality that would never leave me alone.

_ah._

I wish.


	2. Chapter 2

_CHAPTER ONE_

* * *

_302 _part I

* * *

"Number 8834, checked" called out the officer sitting at his desk in front of the line, the line was long. Really fucking long.

The last 48 hours had been hell for me, being shipped to Tokyo from a small village nobody gives a shit about, then being dragged around like a dog while being hit on by men 3 times my age. You could say that I just want to sleep. As the line kept getting shorter, I felt the looks behind me, being only a one of the few women in the line, I could see why. A bunch of hungry dogs is only what I could see in these men. I look back to the front of the line to see only to see I was next.

"Hmmm.. A girl in two pigtails with hazel brown eyes and a nice slim body, we don't usually get these one here." gritted the officer as he grabbed a lock of my hair and twirled it around his finger. "Tell me, what did you do to get here hm? prostitution gone wrong?" chuckled the officer as he looked to his fellow mates that laughed along with him, but then leaned closer into my ear and replied

"Or was it the massacre of 21 classmates?" My eyes widened as flashbacks grew inside my head.

it wasn't my fault

He smirked and then laid back onto to his seat.

"But, Man. I never expected something to happen in such a peaceful village." He then sighed as he brought out his papers asking for my pin number. I showed him the pin that was placed on the side of my breast with him in shock as he was checking his papers.

"What's taking so long officer?" Asking the woman behind him who had entered the room.

"Miss Ogasawara, there must been an error. Uh there's no such thing as prisoner 10." He replied as the woman looked at me in delight, with a cruel smile on her face.

"Finally, Number 10!" She twirled around while hugging me in her arms, making the officers faces sigh in shame. She took a moment to breathe before taking me out of her embrace and then told the officers. "I'm bringing her with me officer."

She then skipped away while grabbing on to me, leaving the one of the officers yelling "Where are you bringing her!?" she then smirked and shouted back,

"Block 302"

_Block 302?_

I thought as she lead me into an elevator that I had no idea, would change my life.


	3. Chapter 3

_CHAPTER TWO_

* * *

_302 _part II

* * *

_What is she doing? _I looked up to see the woman crossing her arms, gawking each few seconds the light beamed out of each number as we descended. I was slightly irritated that somehow _my_ future was leading into a different route. _'I was prepared', _That's what a thought. The woman noticed my sigh.

"What's the matter? aren't you a little happy you escaped from your own death?" She smiled, as if saying that was a normal thing.

I glared at her, hoping that somehow she would take my attitude the wrong way but simply smiled again.

"Heyyy- do you even speak? I haven't heard a peep out of you from the very beginning! Aren't you curious from out of all the prisoners up there, _you_, were brought down here?" I looked to the other side, refusing to make eye contact with her dark blue eyes again.

_I don't care._ I thought, as if replying to her question.

"You're are strange one, ya know. Ah━just like my dog! he kinda has the same hair colour as yo━" The loud _**DING**_ interrupted her. I looked up to the elevator doors, beside them were a pile of numbers━I looked for the illuminated number, seeing how deep we were. _92?_ My pupils grew large as I heard my throat gulp. _How the hell is this possible. _

"C'mon, _let's go_." She waved her hands in face, trying to attract my attention. I clutched onto the sides of my pants━I was nervous━but showed none of it on my face. As I was following the '_mysterious' _woman, I thought sarcastically in my head. It hadn't been 15 minutes I was down here and the place was full of guards, including four of them that greeted us at the elevator doors.

After a few couple of minutes, we arrived at a huge pair of metal doors with a plaque on them. _302._ the famous block that I've been hearing for the past 30 minutes. It seemed that this one was separated from the other blocks. Before even thinking, the woman thought out loud for me.

"_No_━you're _not _going into a mental institution." _That's good._ I felt relieved but then she spoked again.

"302 is blocked out for _other _special reasons, But you'll find out those reasons. I'm sure of it." She smiled and I heared loud footsteps appear behind.

My body frozed up, almost not feeling the sign of relief I felt seconds ago. Pitch black surrounded my head and I struggled to take off the damn thing but nothing worked, the person suffocating me was strong, way more than me. My movements were gradually moving slower as I took each and one of my last breaths━Then I heard the woman spoke again, but the words were unclear.

And all faded to blackness.


	4. Chapter 4

_CHAPTER THREE_

* * *

_302 _part III

* * *

Blackness. Pure blackness. Nothing could describe better this situation._ That fucking bitch._ I was upset, I was tired of not knowing anything of where I was━and why this woman almost goddamn killed me with a plastic bag. _Yes, _a plastic bag. _I could've ripped the damn thing with my mouth,_ I thought, regretting that moment.

_Shit, __I can't see anything. _The room was surrounded by complete darkness, I couldn't even see where I was laying. Maybe it isn't a room, _Maybe_ I'm _dead_.

I laughed, then frowned. "Man, I'm a mess."

Minutes, maybe hours passed by while I lie on my back against the floor, staring at nothing━just plain blackness. I waved my arm up, trying to prove myself I wasn't actually dead, that I _still _had a place on earth. That I still existed.

Then something flashed through my mind, something I had forgotten. Like going into an attic to only find missing pictures of your previous years, except this wasn't a photograph I remember, it was a lullaby. A song. It rang through my ears like a bell ringing at the top of a church. It was loud, it was warm and loving. Though I had no idea where it came from but.. I felt as if it the memories along with that song were blocked off, discarded from my brain. That's when I heard the sound of rusty, metal doors opening━light illuminated the dark room, though I couldn't view the standing figure at the door. I couldn't hear the lullaby anymore as if it had faded away from my mind.

"Nice to see you again, Mikan." The woman was at the door, the light had shown her face, she was smiling. I felt anger take over me but said nothing, I just stared at her hoping for an explanation of any sort.

"Welcome to Block 302 or what _we_ call 'Section A'," She giggled then resumed to her speech. "Before I start explaining your life here, I'm going to need you to put these clothes on first." She threw me the usual prisoner clothes, black and white stripes. _Total predicable_.

"Blame this prison for _not _updating their_ styles._" She answered as if reading my mind. I then grabbed the clothes she threw and walked out of the dark room, following as she led the path into the bright lighted hallway.

I glanced over to both my right and left as we walked down the narrow path, oddly enough it didn't resembled at all to a prison, the only doors along the Hallway walls were black doors. _Maybe all the rooms are like mine._ The thought only made it seemed weirder, why _wouldn't_ the guards want to see the prisoners? I was so confused yet I couldn't put any of my questions into words, I wanted to ask this woman but maybe I was too afraid of the answer.

After walking about 5 minutes she then stopped in front of a room and pushed me right through the doorway, landing on my knees inside the locker room as the clothes scattered on the floor.

"_C'mon_ get changed." She chuckled then closed the door. I stood up, then undress myself until I heard humming through the cracks of the steel door. _Is this girl really a police officer? _I laughed, she seemed innocent, yet not at the same time. Making it difficult to place my finger upon her actual personality. After a minute I had finished putting the two layers of clothes on my skin, the end of each sleeve had led up to my knuckles, as each cuff of the pants led up to my ankles. _How ironic._

"Did they even coordinate each size of the pieces together?" I said sarcastically to myself, chuckling a bit.

"Are you ready little citrus?" I heard the woman call outside of the locker room, laughing at her joke. But I stood there, frozen like ice.

"Hey Mikan, you're just like a Satsuma. You need to be treated with care or you'll be damaged, you know that right?"

"That's.. b..ullshit."

I muttered to myself, voice trembling. Why did she have to come out of nowhere? With those warm eyes she would only show to me? Why out of all the people, my own name reminded me of her?

After a long pause of me, holding my forehead and covering my eyes. My memories took over my mind once again.

.

.

.

"Mikan you're _so_ **useless**." 

My eyes widened as I felt the blood pumping fast in my veins.

"Why is it that you're _soooo_ useless━you even **exist**?"

I crouched on the ground. I clutched my hair in my hands, almost about to rip it out of my scalp.

"**Disappear**."

I was about to slam my cuffs into the ground, Infuriated. I stopped as soon as I heard the locker room door opening.

"Oi, how long do I have to wai━" She halted as she saw me on the ground, head down, with locks of my hair━hiding my face. She then paused.

"Uhh, ummmm━" She swinged back and forth on her feet, not knowing what to say but immediately returned to posture as she heard guards strolling down the hallway.

"A━A━Anyways, let's go! C'mon I gotta show much more number 10!" She stuttered and immediately faced in front her, avoiding eye contact with me.

I rosed up from the ground and and started to trail behind her with my head down. _That was awkward._ Sweat rolled down my face, but then I returned to my mood from a moments ago. _It doesn't matter anymore, Mikan. It doesn't matter anymore, _

_She doesn't exist._


End file.
